Brits like their lovelife spiced
by Windy Rein
Summary: 10 songs, 10 passages based on the songs... And no poking them after the song's finished! Biggest warnings are for drug use, swearing and yaoi! Other warnings in the chapters.. CrossAllen drabbles FINALLY added!
1. Of a Portuguese and an Englishman

**Summary:** 10 songs, 10 passages based on the songs... And no poking them after the song's finished!

**Rating: **Meh, gonna go with M (The reason: possible strong but **non-explicit adult themes**(and I count drug use in here), references to violence, and strong coarse language)

**Warnings:** Drug use and swearing, implied sex(male/male sex that is)

**Pairing:** I have a surprise for ya guys, it's TykiAllen(my almost OTP ;)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D.Gray-man or any of its characters. I'm just having fun playing with them and their lives :D

**A/N:** Okay, I had to do this, partly 'cause it sounded fun, partly 'cause I'm having a damned writer's block with everything CrossAllen(or something else I've started before).. And well, yeah, nothing really much to say here for once.. :D So enjoy, loves :)

xxx

**Of a Portuguese and an Englishman**

xxx

**1. Metallica – Devil's Dance**

It had been very different he had to admit. From the beginning of their little dance 'till the bitter end. The end that came when time caught up with them.

It wasn't just them two anymore, like in that forest so long ago. His heart had been broken, sure. His arm torn to shreds, that couldn't be denied. The man had stuck a goddamned butterfly into him but it was all made well by those soft, tantalizing lips. He never really knew how good Portuguese tasted or maybe it was just that man.

And now? This little dance that had been stopped so very suddenly, so very very suddenly. Too suddenly if you asked him. Who knew if the man would even remember him after all of the things that had happened to the poor bloke?

In the end, it had been a very lively dance with the Devil. The devil of his own. The devil that was only his.

**2. Northern Kings – We don't need another hero**

"We don't need you. The Order has no room for traitors or for those who patronize with the enemy." The man's face was cold and distant.

Probably the only one who could understand exactly how the youngest General, or ex-General now, felt was the man that was standing behind him emitting a presence of calmness.

After a moment of gathering himself, he looked at them all with distant barricaded eyes and turned around and stepped in from the portal to the Ark followed by the Noah of Pleasure. Only five minutes later all of the phones in the room started ringing as Finders and Exorcists all over the world called wanting to know why the portal they had been using or waiting had vanished or never even materialized.

**3. HIM – Wings of a butterfly**

There were so many flapping around him. So very many that he thought for a second that the world had turned into a torrent of dark violet butterflies that never stopped.

In the end, the butterflies had found solace in the man he started despising from the moment he laid eyes on him. There were so many things he wanted to do to him but knew he couldn't, not in his current state at least.

--

That had happened so long ago. It felt like time had flown, like a butterfly. So fragile and yet so full of life. Their love was like that too, just like a butterfly. So easily shredded to pieces.

**4. Christina Aguilera – Can't Hold Us Down feat. Lil' Kim**

He hated his boyfriend at times. Especially times like this. He never wanted to hear what he felt or thought about some subject or other, like the new carpet. It was _just_ like Tyki wanted but was it even remotely close to what he thought would've looked good? Of course not. Why that would've meant that he had an opinion.

Why'd he ever moved in with the man was a mystery... Oh yeah, the sex was great and he didn't need to pay rent for a place he didn't use. Oh what a fucked up world it was surrounding him. They were on the goddamned 21st century, hadn't the man heard of equality? Of course not. He still lived in the way they did in the end of the 19th century. Oh how he hated his life at times.

Why the hell did Noah have to be immortal? Why couldn't we just die and be done with it?

**5. My Chemical Romance - The Ghost of You**

It had been a month since the events in the Ark and he still couldn't forget the image of the Pleasure's memories consuming his love completely.

He thought of all the little things the Portuguese had told him and couldn't stop himself from smiling when he remembered the fact that Tyki had hated being called Tyki-pon just because it made him seem someone's horse and the even less known fact was that Tyki feared horses. He had never liked the animals and never would learn to like them, not anymore.

He'd have to return to a cold room with an empty and uninviting bed. He'd have to learn to forget. Forget the one he loved more than anything.

**6. Impaled Nazarene – Let's Fucking Die**

"Ya know, Tyki, this is some fucked up shit." the boy who had said that had a distant look and dilated pupils. He was definitely on something.

"Ya don't know what ya talkin' 'bout, kid. This is the best." the man had curly long hair that hung almost on his shoulders.

"Hey, Tyki, would ya do sumthin' fer me?" the boy's voice was slurred.

"O' course."

"Let's die."

**7. Simple Plan – Addicted**

It had been the start to everything. Those little words that had slipped past the man's lips without getting consent from their owner. _Allen, I'm addicted to you._

It was at that moment that his whole life changed. The Fourteenth broke the last of its chains and like Tyki was some sort of a catalyst he started his transformation. It had been painful and bloody and made him so guilty but it had been worth it.

There was no denying the fact of how dependent he was on the man now. He chuckled at the thought of how the situation had been reversed. They had changed parts. He was now the one following Tyki like a homeless pup and Tyki was the man who allowed him that despite what it had been in the beginning, completely opposite.

But he was happy. That was all that mattered.

**8.**** 30 Seconds to Mars – From Yesterday**

He knew when they were in Japan that he'd ran into that man. The man that had ruined everything. Ruined everything, everything, everything. Ruined his life, ruined his happiness, ruined his innocence but most of all if you asked any of his friends the man had shattered and thus ruined the light in his eyes.

There was no more happiness in those eyes. There wasn't the little sparkle of hope and serenity. There was just insecurity, sorrow and death. Or more precisely, there was a dead soul in there. Was there something his friends could do? Was there something that man could do?

He didn't know. No-one did. He didn't want to know. They did. He knew he'd just be shattered by their tries. They still tried, thought he'd come back if they tried enough. That would never happen. Never, ever, ever.

Not as long as he, Lord Tyki Mikk, could stop it.

**9. Sentenced – In Memoriam**

All stories are love stories, even those of hate. He remembered hearing that somewhere, he just couldn't point his finger to the person or time that he'd heard that. It was something that wasn't well-known but did it really matter?

The truth finds those worthy of it. He'd heard that somewhere, too. He gave a slight smile to the thought of how much he'd heard but didn't know the meaning of. Well, not before that is. Now, he knew, what was meant by the first phrase. He'd been so sure he'd be able to hate the boy and just kill him in cold blood but something had made him feel. Something had made his blood boil and his heart burn. Maybe it was how the boy was so strong, yet so fragile and innocent. Maybe it was something completely different, like his Noah genes but there had been something starting from that moment on the train.

Something that made him do what he did, something that made him want to make the boy beg. Something so indescribably human, yet feral, that no-one could explain it ever.

Maybe that was exactly what drew them together again and again.

**10. Yasaharu Takanashi – Shippuuden**

Everything they did was a fight, form the verbal assaults and taunts to the fists flying and then to the using of Dark Matter and Innocence. What would he give for one moment of peace? Anything in the world. Even the sex was a fight, for dominance, for how many bruises and scratches could be made. Everything and always.

It was their curse probably. But then again, the boy was Noah, too. He couldn't deny it no longer. Not after the stigma.

xxx

**A/N: **Just noticed how fucked up my music taste is.. :D And, umm, reviews, please?

Pst! I'm in love with number six :) I'd like to write more junky!Allen :D


	2. Some things he didn't tell his brother

**Summary:** Same as before, 10 songs, 10 passages based on the songs and no poking after songs have finished.

**Pairing:** DebittoAllen (haven't found this anywhere, so **I gets claims!!** xD)

**Warnings:** Yaoi, drug use(yes, again xD I just can't help liking to write drug-related stuff), swearing and character death.

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D.Gray-man. I'd like to own Debitto, Tyki and Cross though :) Oh, one thing, **I gets claims on Tyki hating/fearing horses **xD

**A/N:** Okay, first things first. I think I forgot to mention this in the first one but I've skipped all songs that are sang in Finnish 'cause I'd like for everyone(at least most of you out there) to have a chance of understanding the lyrics :D

Next, I'm sorry Kuro-love(can I call you love? o.O), but I chose a pairing that had been bugging me for God knows how long... I swear I'm gonna do one on Jasdebi no matter how big of a pain that is.. :D

Then, **OH MY GOD, **I can't believe how big a pain this was to make.. There was the fact that there's not really much known of Debitto and I've never read this pairing(repetition: **I gets the claims!!**(at least I think o.O)

Umm, what else?? Ah, yes.. My Debitto will **always** be a guy.. Why? Well, the first time I saw him he was a guy and his one of my dream guys.. xD Why he's one of my dream guys? I'M EMO!! And Debitto's every emo girl's dream(or at least should be, imo) I know I can't have him, but so fuckin' what?

And, well, now after ramblings, **enjoy all of you loves who bothered to read this** xD

xxx

**Some things he didn't tell even to his brother**

xxx

**1. Masakazu Morita – MY BLADE, AS MY PRIDE**

The hair, he thinks, is what drew him in the first time. It was all spiky and…white, for God's sake! (Not like he believed in a god or something, fucking bastard could've died for all that he cared.) But back to the topic, he had been wondering about this for a good while now. He could never tell his family. Not ever. They'd never understand. That was a fact of life, something like Tyki hating horses.

Their meetings always happened in silence and secrecy but what tore him the most was that they were so far apart. Even now, in the middle of dinner, he couldn't keep his thoughts in the food or the conversation. No, they strayed to that one fucking Exorcist. Fucking hell, the kid would be dead next time he sees him.

**2. Evanescence – Lithium**

White was all that mattered. His hair was white. His skin was as close to white as was possible for a living person. But most of all, the drugs he had were always the purest white you could find and since he was practically immortal, even the purest couldn't kill him.

He had tried it all, from cocaine to heroin to pills but nothing gave him the same feeling as the other's touch. Nothing could quench his thirst as the boy's blood. Nothing could satisfy him but the roughness he was treated with. Nothing mattered if he couldn't get that feeling.

But still, he tried, he tried pain killers, he injected himself with anything he could find. Could he say he was addicted?

**3. Eminem – My 1st single**

The man's voice was wonderful. That couldn't be denied. It was made for singing. Rough and full of edges when there was anger or hate or anything like that but soft and smooth as silk when he was singing of heart ache, love and broken hearts. Now, well, it was all he had. There were just the cds and the memories.

It had been a one night stand, he knew it from the beginning but still he started building castles to the skies of his mind. He thought that maybe, just _maybe_, the other would fall for him and they'd spend the rest of their lives together.

Well, of course it had been a stupid dream but he could always dream, right?

**4. Impaled Nazarene – Goat Seeds of Doom**

The first time they met he was almost driven over the edge. All those memories related to his master and how he was treated were brought up and he couldn't but hope extreme pain and torture to the one that caused that. Well, he'd gotten his wish. Now, he was the one in control. He was the one to torture the other. And what was best in it all, Debitto hadn't even noticed, it seemed.

He smirked while walking in the empty halls of the Order.

For some reason, he'd taken to walking in the corridors in the night. It somehow calmed him. Some ways, he thought, it reminded him of that time in the Ark. All those corridors and challenges. Somehow he came out as the winner from that too.

**5. ****Ill Niño – How can I live?**

It had started like many things before it, with a meeting. Well, that was obvious. But what happened during that meeting?

Well, first there were death glares, then grudgingly admitted feelings and then, as the last thing that had sealed their fates so to say, the hottest sex he'd ever had. And as Cross' disciple, you learned and experienced A LOT. Some of those things he really wanted to forget, but for some reason, just couldn't. One of them being an unexpected and unwanted meeting with a man and his _very_ loved dog. That still made him shudder.

But back to the sex. It was hot, it hurt and was probably the only thing he never wanted to forget.

**6. Howard Shore – The Bridge of ****Khazad-dûm**

There were many things he had learned from the man. One of them was to burn the bridges you cross before you even cross them. This is how it had happened.

"I don't love ya, ya know."

"Well, ain't that a shame." the tone was sarcastic.

A roll of eyes. "Ya really should remember tha'. I know ya, ya always think with ya heart."

A scoff. "No, I don't."

"Yes, ya do."

"No, I don't."

That had gone on for about half an hour before he had showed the man just how much he didn't love him. Showed how much it really was just physical. Showed how much he _really_ was like his master.

That had been the last time he heard that argument. And he was quite happy with that. It was almost always like that, a petty argument over this or that and then some wild, hot and definitely sadomasochistic sex. On his part it was sadistic, on his lover's it was pure masochism. He never wanted to be prepared and always wanted to be pounded with as much force as possible and wasn't satisfied if he didn't start bleeding.

He was extremely happy with that. He always wondered though, how his lover explained the limp to his family.

**7. Queen – The Show Must Go On**

He had died in the end. As always, when the war ends, the hero dies. It had always been like that and would always be. What would've changed during the seven thousand something years this silly thing had been going on for?

The grave you have is simple and secret. No-one really knows where it is. Well, except for the Order and him. He's the only one who knows and who still visits his lover. It had been a weird thing between them. Fights, embraces, apologies and tears. And you just couldn't forget about the pain. The lovely pain and hurt their love caused to everyone involved. The Order didn't like it one bit but as they had no real evidence they couldn't do anything to you. And my family was always so much of a plain surface that they never cared enough.

**8. Nickelback – This is how you remind me**

He was never really a wise man. He had started his life with being a thief. He had to, he really did. It was the only way to get a living for him and his brother. When he was caught he never tried to lie his way out of it, not after the first time. But enough of his past, well, not enough of all of it. He knew the first time he saw the kid he'd seen him somewhere before but where and when. That memory came to him when he got to claim the other's virginity, or so he thought.

He'd seen the kid selling himself for a coin or two.

That made him feel pity for the other but he could never tell that. He never would tell that. Then the kid would probably remember how he had once offered to share a bed (or a box actually) with the kid and the situation that had led to was something he didn't want to remind the other of.

**9. Emmy Rossum – Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again**

The happenings in the Ark were the last time he was seen by Allen. But after that, after he and his brother had "died" and then "come back" to life, he'd always been grateful to the kid. He'd unknowingly brought them back. He told the Ark to bring back his friends but it had brought them, too. That was weird and they had had some conversations about it with his brother but they could never come to a conclusion so they stopped thinking about it and were just happy they were alive.

He'd have to thank the kid if they ever really met again. Maybe this time there'd be some friendliness between them. It wasn't going to happen, he knew. Heroes always died in the end and they were certainly the villains. It was really a shame. Allen was a good kid, he had to admit.

**10. abingdon boys school – HOWLING**

There were stars on the sky that night. He was only in high school and the other had graduated, barely might he add, the last year. It had been so long ago. Their road had been bumpy and full of twists and turns and obstacles. The least not being his, now lover's, overly-clingy/protective lil' brother who seemed just a little off his rocker.

It hadn't been a problem after they _finally_ solved all the issues there were, what with both of their protective families and friends and all that jazz. But it had been definitely worth it.

Yeah, it had been worth it. A tear found its way out of the corner of his eye. It was soon joined by others of its kind. It had been worth it for the two years it had lasted.

His lover had been run over by a truck.

xxx

**A/N:** I feel cruel.. And my music is fucked up, I'm telling you fucked up.. :D Oh, and I'm sorry about the weirdness in POV(or whatever it should be called) in # 7 xD And I'm sorry about forgetting Jasdero in almost all of these -facepalm-

Reviews are love :) Onegai?


	3. Love, love, love, was there ever enough?

**Summary: **See chapter one :)

**Warnings:** Twincest yaoi(if you don't understand this, I advice you to slowly step away from this fic and then turn and run with your life and/or sanity intact), drug use, swearing(not as much as in the others I think) oh and a sliver of insanity in number ten :)

**Pairing(?):** Ah, yeah, it's Jasdebi (twincest that is) but I know that most of these don't really have any mentions of romantic love, so I suppose, you should give your imagination wings and let it fly away with anything I provide you with :D In other words, it's mostly sibling love, from my point of view that is.. :)

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D.Gray-man in any legal form. I have illegally downloaded episodes though, so if you want to come and check my... I really shouldn't tell that right.. -bright smile-

**A/N: **Why the hell does my iTunes play almost all of the songs that are in Finnish when I write these drabble collections?? Somebody please, tell me.. -sighs-

As a side note here, throw pairing requests at me!! I have only one pairing left and that will be out most likely during this week!! I will attempt to write everything(any types of pairings that is) BUT I have never written yuri (or even thought about writing it for that matter), I've never written het either and to add to the blast I have never really read yuri either.. -deadpan- -hears a cricket chirp- I know I sound pathetic, but so fuckin' what? My life, my patheticness!! So no touchy!!(have you by the way noticed that if you say touchy a couple of times in a row it becomes Itachi? o.O)

Anyways, this time these are a little different, since I haven't got the faintest of ideas where I was going with most of these, but well, whatever..

**JASDEBI'S GODDAMN HARD TO WRITE!!** (but I'd do anything for my Kuro-love :D)

Now, that that's out of the way.. :) Do try and enjoy yourselves with these little things, 'kay? :)

xxx

**Love, love, love, was there ever enough?**

xxx

**1. ****Nightwish – For the heart I once had**

He thought that maybe at some point in time they might have had heart. Maybe. He, or his brother for that matter, just couldn't remember that far. Couldn't remember to the point in time when they still were children untainted by Noah's memories. He sighs in the dark room and then turns to look at his brother. The other's face was so peaceful at night. It was almost like a child's. The black hair framed his face, the softer than silk lips were a small bit parted and his body was curled into a ball.

He was so unlike his brother. He remembered always being the one called a monster and a freak. It was always him. Why, he never knew and could never find out, at least not after they killed their mother.

**2. Neu! – Super 16**

He remembered hammers. He remembered guns. He remembered war.

They remembered love and laughter. They remembered what he couldn't. It was a weird feeling, to know that they together could remember and feel things that they separately couldn't.

**3. Kanye West – Diamonds from Sierra Leone**

Diamonds are forever, that's what he had told his little brother their whole life. And, he always added, they were diamonds but, and this he said with a small smile, their love was more than a diamond. Their love was a bond that could never be broken. Their love was harder than any diamond that could be found, or had been found for that matter.

He always kept his little brother safe. He always saved him from those sons of bitches that tried to mislead him and tempt him into doing something.

But then they became Noah. He wasn't quite sure how the hell the whole thing became so messed up but now it seemed he was the one that had to be protected and held away from the temptations of the world.

He still told his brother. Every night he told that little story of theirs.

**4. Sentenced – Moon Magick**

He had always loved the moon. His brother had liked the stars more. Why this was he didn't know. He had at the beginning thought they should like the same things but then as time went by they, or at least he, maybe his brother had known it from the beginning, had figured that they could still be together forever and like different things.

He had seen pentagrams drawn in the moonlight. He had seen ritual sacrifice altars made. He had seen innocent, young blood spilled. All that just for them, all that just because people thought they were gods, they and their family that is.

It had been weird, when they had first taken part in that sort of ritual. His brother had cried through the whole thing and he had just stared with a blank face that didn't have any emotion on it.

Looking back on it later, he always thought that, that was the point in time that had changed their roles. Reversed them, if you may.

**5. Arch Enemy – End of the Line**

They had known always that they'd be the last ones. They'd known it from the dreams 'till the end of the stupid little thing the humans called war.

Was there really anything different in any of it? Time had stayed the same, always. People fought against each other and they had peace and then fought some more. It had always puzzled them. They had always been creatures of harmony and stillness, but still they loved to pull pranks and play with people. It was weird from the beginning 'till the very end.

They had never really wanted to hurt anyone but it had always just come down to that. Like with that Vampire-ojisan. It had been all just a game brought too far. It was odd in the very least.

**6. Linkin Park – H! Vltg3 (Evidence ft. Pharoahe Monch & Dj Babu)**

"Don't touch that Debi-chan." his brother had that same worried expression as always when he found a new toy.

"But, Dero, it looks so interesting and nice." he _wasn't_ whining!

"Debi, you'll just get hurt, just like last time." that worried expression only deepened.

A sly smile made its way to my face. "But, Jas, you can't say ya didn't enjoy that." I can see a shiver run through him.

I turn my eyes to the cabinet again trying to figure how to open it. That lightning picture it had was really intriguing me to know what was inside.

"But, Debi..." I silence him with a kiss and a smile.

**7. Roxette – Listen to your heart**

It had been awkward and sloppy the first time they kissed. That was to be expected. What he could've never expected was that coldness that seeped from the other and that seemed to stain and taint him yet still pull him in deeper.

That same coldness still lay in him and in his brother. He didn't know what had brought it out but that coldness was something nothing else about his brother showed. He had thought his brother was happy and "warm" but it seemed he had been wrong.

It seemed there was a reason why his brother preferred black hair and generally darker clothes than he did. The only thing that he thought was worth something was that they were still dressed in bright red when they became one. Their hair might have highlights in it, so to say, but the dress was bright red, just...like...blood.

Oh god, what had he created with his reckless behaviour?

Was it something that could be remedied or was it something permanent about his brother? Was it something he should apologize for?

Should he just make himself bleed as much as his brother had bled that long time ago? Maybe... Yes, maybe he really should.

**8. ****Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald – Paper Moon**

He was always cutting those perfect circles from paper. Perfect _white_ circles. Like they were something very important.

But, he just continued. Everything he wanted had to be pure white. _Everything_. From his food to his drinks and then in the end to the drugs he used.

That had been something he had never wanted to see. Not after knowing what happened to their mother, older siblings, their father, their uncles. To basically everyone from their family. He thought that they were probably the only ones still alive.

He then again indulged himself with jazz and blues of course. It was something his family never understood. He didn't expect them to. His family didn't understand if it wasn't illegal.

**9. My Chemical Romance – Sleep**

When they had fallen after the battle in the library, he felt like sleeping. He felt like they were going to sleep for some time and then wake up in some place they didn't know, yet, and start anew there.

His life, well, their life, flashed past his eyes. What a cliché ending. Life flashing past your eyes. He had thought that they'd die in a battle with one swift blow or then fighting until their last breath. He had never thought it would end like this.

In a peaceful slumber that no-one would disturb.

He had always thought, he'd die after his brother. In some dirty little cell in the Order. Crying out for them to release him from his misery. To just let him die and meet his brother again.

They had never thought they'd get such a happy ending, in the arms of each other.

'Till death do us part. Or maybe not even death. One could never know.

**10. Nightwish – Last of the Wilds**

They had been only ten years old when the people in their village had driven them away. They had said the twins had killed their mother. Said that they had killed their whole family.

That wasn't true, none of it was. He was sure of that. How could they be so wrong? They could never hurt a fly. Jasdebi had never hurt no-one. _But_, a little voice inside their head started,_ what was all that blood covering them? Hmm, was poor little Jasdebi done something awfully wrong? Hmm, what was the blood for? For drinking or for something else, hmm?_ He had never liked that little voice. It had always been so cruel. Jasdebi had never done anything wrong. He had never, ever done anything wrong. What was the voice implying? They could never hurt a fly, nor kill their family! But why, why, why, was he covered in blood then? Why that little voice kept whispering to them? Why was it so dark always in the nights?

Why was there so much blood and why was the ground on fire?

_I wonder, what poor lil' Jasdebi has done, hmm? Has they done somethings awful, hmms? What woulds Moms say now, hmm, I wonder?_

_It was you wasn't it. It was he, it was them._

xxx

**A/N:** ... -a cricket chirps- Don't ask about number ten! I love it to pieces but I must confess even I think it's a bit weird :D But that's why I love it, I suppose xP And I have a defence for why number two is SO short.. The freakin' songs only a ONE MINUTE and some seconds long.. -sulks in a corner- That and the fact that my typing sucks at the moment :D

Also, the POVs... -cracks up laughing- Don't ask about them.. I don't seriously know.. xD I know that I changed the "speaker" at least in one of these AND at least once xD So, I don't suppose anyone recognising whose talking except in the ones that have it directly(or not so directly) said..

But anyways, reviews are loved :) And mostly replied to also :D

P.S. The s'es in number ten and the grammar errors are there purposefully :)


	4. The Curse of the Peacock

**Summary:** Refer to chapter 1

**Pairing:** CrossAllen (I know, some of you are thinking "FINALLY!! I thought she'd never get to it..." :D)

**Warnings:** The usual I suppose (slash, yaoi, shouta (whatever you wanna call it), drug use, a somewhat lemon) (No swearing this time though o.O) Also, a somewhat dark!Cross and somewhat forced sex.. Oh, and (if anyone picks up on it) character death(no, it's not the canon one I'm talking about ;)

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D.Gray-man or anything associated with it. At least legally.

**A/N:** First of all, I skipped all of the songs that have been used earlier in these. (I don't know why the Hell my iTunes plays the same songs over and over when I have over two **thousand** of them.. -.-)

And, umm, I don't have anything else to say at the moment(how strange) :D So just enjoy the very odd collection of CrossAllen drabbles :)

xxx

**The Curse of the Peacock**

xxx

**1. Ozzy Osbourne – Mr. Crowley**

Bells, there'd always been bells. Everytime he heard bells he knew what'd happen next. The man had probably gotten the idea from that Daisya fellow. (may he rest in peace) But what was the point? Was he supposed to run or... He felt something pierce his skin and then felt the foreign liquid being pushed to his bloodstream. _Ah, of course, tranquilizers._ His eyes slipped closed and he fell into a deep, deep blackness. It was comforting though.

When he finally woke up, he was alone, cold and laying in a bed. A bed, that was a complete mess, it seemed. He let out an exasperated sigh. Why the man couldn't face him with his desires? Did he really think Allen would push him away? After all these years and all those little clues he'd been given, did the man really think his anonymity had remained?

**2. Sentenced – Blood and Tears**

Red, so much red. The man's hair was red, the liquid he was drinking was red but most of all, his eyes were the purest red he'd ever seen. That was mesmerizing, in the least. It _had_ been, he corrected himself. He'd seen the bloodstains, the hole in the window and the forgotten and seemingly abandoned Judgment on the floor. What had happened? No-one knew.

But, it called to him. Just him and only him. It called like a child lost in a forest, yet its call was just like the mother's. He picked it up from Hevlaska after many sleepless nights of wandering in the corridors. And when he touched the cool metal, caressed the cross marks it had, _he knew._

The next day, the Order was treated to a new sight to behold.

**3. Yasaharu Takanashi – Heaven-Shaking Event**

Oh God!! That couldn't be legal. The man's tongue had to be classified an illegal drug...or something. His thoughts were smothered to goo when the tongue did _that_ again. He didn't even know what _that_ was but it had something to do with his body being on fire and...

OH GOD!! He gasped for air. He didn't just... He looked down at the man nestled comfortably; it seemed, between his legs. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head again.

But that wasn't all. He found himself screaming so loud the whole of the Black Order heard it.

**4. Billy Talent – River Below**

He'd always liked swimming. It might seem a little odd of a thought.

That had all changed though one day when he'd been at a secluded river bank and saw a boy, most likely not older than eight or seven, being pushed into the water. The boy didn't, of course, know how to swim. He had had the whitest of hair and the greyest eyes he'd ever seen.

When he made it to the struggling boy he was already falling beneath the surface and was pulled to the bottom of the river.

He couldn't swim ever again after that.

**5. Evanescence – Cloud Nine**

He had decided at first sight that the boy was an incubus. The way his hips moved and the way his hair glimmered and just all about him. He looked like a perfect angel but his every move screamed devil and seducer.

He had fallen to the boy's trap, from the beginning probably. At first he was content in just watching but then the boy had locked eye contact and that song that had been playing (he knew he should've taken the warning) had swallowed the boy and his body had moved in a way he thought no body could.

After the song ended the angel/demon had walked to him and asked in a husky whisper _if he enjoyed the show?_ That had been the final straw. He couldn't take the temptation anymore and just crashed their lips together.

And the song that had been playing? El Tango de Roxanne.

**6. Deep Insight – Pandas Lucky Leopold**

Was there such big of a difference between red and white? Was there something to hide behind them? Was the relationship so wrong?

White as the purest snow. Red as the brightest blood. But when combined, it was ecstasy, it was heaven, it was nirvana. It was something that couldn't be matched. It was something illegal but still inside legal, but just barely. Depended on the point of view, maybe, they weren't quite sure.

Like Bonnie and Clyde, yet more modern.

**7. Eminem – Marshall Mathers**

A rainbow coloured sunset. He giggled a bit. That was such a wonderful thought. His master looked at him a bit weirdly, like always when he did something like that. He only poked his tongue out at the man, who just smirked at him in response.

"I think ya've had 'nuff, haven't ya?"

"But, Master, it's so _good._" his voice sounded a bit like, well, something floury was in his throat. But just a bit.

"Allen, do ya want to pass out again in the middle of everything?" the man had one of his delicate eyebrows raised in question.

He smiled in total bliss at the man. "Tha' was Master's fault. He kept going so ago...agone...agonizingly slow." his brain registered the fact that his mouth couldn't form words well anymore but then they decided it was alright and that that floating on clouds feeling was more important.

**8. Guns 'n Roses – November Rain**

He'd always liked rain. There was something very calming about it. Something that called out to him and made him seem welcome to whatever place he was at, at the time.

Then he met his lover and fell in love with wind. It was something that described the man like nothing else. He'd heard his lover being compared to fire and demons and dirt on the floor but he argued against all of that. His lover was wind. No questions asked.

Just like the wind he was there one moment and gone the next. Just like wind he could calm someone with just a few soft words. Just like wind he could wreck havoc never seen before. Just like wind he could never be captured.

And just like wind, he'd always leave those that treasured him more than anything else in the world.

xxx

He had been happy during the years that he spent with the man. He felt privileged to be able to stick with him for such a long time.

But then came India and their paths separated. For how long of a time, he couldn't really tell. Maybe it was a few months, maybe for years. And then, the first time he felt he was catching up to the man, in China, he felt a true smile coming over his face. Even Bookman had commented on him being more positive about everything.

Then came the battle at the ship and all that followed. And he didn't know what to think. There was so much everything happening, he almost fell to atoms, almost got himself killed.

But then, in the Ark, when he saw that face again, he knew it had all been worth it. And this time he wouldn't let go.

**9. Yusa Koji – Sekai wa Sude ni Azamuki no Ue ni**

There was so much snow and ice and it was so cold and then this man just walked up to him, asked if he wanted to become a soldier of God. The man had smelt like cigarette smoke and wine and felt like hot fire to his touch. He had almost shook his head already before he thought of something that might mean.

_Would I be able to stay with you then?_

That had sealed his faith, he thought when older. The curious and a bit awkward question of a child whose mind was older than anyone ever had thought was what led to this. Maybe he should've never asked that. Maybe he shouldn't have seduced his master (a dark smirk crossed his face). Gah, maybe, maybe, maybe. There was nothing that could be done now. Nothing could've been done since the moment he had asked that blasted question.

Why was he always so stupid? Was it really like his master had said so many times? That he had been born with it? (he snorted) That was impossible. He'd been always praised for his intellect, even by the man himself. That was a bit paradoxical though, first he was called stupid and the next moment he was called something of a genius.

He'd never understand the man.

**10. Trapt – Still Frame**

That was the first time he ever was in a church. The first time when he was _allowed_ somewhere that "holy". Before that there'd been numerous visits from priests to monks and even someone who claimed the title of exorcist. They'd all tried to get the "devil" out of him. His arm, that was thought to be the devil's creation was the reason.

He lived in a small village that had never heard of the industrial revolution or anything like it. But then that man had come.

He had showed kindness no-one before him ever had. He had taken the child away from the village that mumbled an Ave Maria everytime they even saw him. He had showed the world outside to him, had made him depend on him.

And then out of the blue without any warning, everything had changed.

_He was so lost._

xxx

**A/N:** Is it just me or are these getting darker and darker? o.O

Pst. Anyone catch up on the character death? o.O


	5. The Makings of History

**Summary:** Refer to chapter 1.

**Pairing:** Laven (LavixAllen)

**Warnings:** Drug use, yaoi, implied sex, swearing, character death... You know, all that normal stuff. :D

**Rating: **T (meaning there's nothing graphic only mentions of stuff)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the manga or anime this fiction is about nor any of the associated characters. (that sounded fancy)

**A/N:** I come bearing you gifts of joy and pure love...

Okay, not really. I'm here to rebel against this thing called Yullen week, which I don't know anything about(if you'd like to tell me that'd be appreciated), and present to you my collection of Laven drabbles. (I was supposed to make Yullen first but Kanda hates me and refuses to even consider the idea of me writing him, so...) I still accept pairing requests since I'm seriously running out (I only have Yullen left). This thing was long in coming because of the simple reason(s) that, 1. I had writer's block, 2. I had mocks and 3. I was lazy. So, the last reason isn't really a reason but more of an excuse, but blaah to you, too.

By the way, I've read the earlier ones again and I'm ashamed. The amount of mistakes in those is just unbearable. I am truly sorry for not noticing the mistakes earlier. -bows in apology-

So, without very much further ado, I present to you my collection of Laven drabbles... (oh, pst, didn't use in Finnish songs for this either :)

xxx

**The Makings of History**

xxx

**1. Bullet For My Valentine – Cries In Vain**

He'd known it from the moment he'd seen the other. That was a man who didn't care about anyone else. The only thing that mattered was his mission in life. That was good. In the end, he was just like the other.

All of their friends had seemed astonished when Kanda announced that he'd walked in on Lavi on his hands and knees with him buried deep within and growling things to Lavi's ear that even Kanda couldn't repeat.

That had been the beginning of all the questions. Lenalee thought they were crazy or more like that he was crazy for being with someone who didn't care about anything but history. Lenalee, of course, could never understand the deep feeling of sameness they had.

**2. My Chemical Romance – The Sharpest Lives**

He'd been just an interesting story to the other from the beginning. The boy who'd been cursed by his father, then was taken in by the most selfish General ever and was revealed to be the missing Noah no-one had known about except for Cross and some of the Order's high-ups.

He was an interesting story still. No-one just understood his methods or his motives. Lavi met him only because, officially, he wasn't on anyone's side. Or maybe the red head really had feelings for him. Maybe it was to tell Lenalee that he was fine and wasn't wounded or brainwashed or killed or soulless or... The list went on and on but what really amused him the most was how everyone seemed to think Lavi topped.

**3. Karsh Kale – One Step**** Beyond**

It had been a step he shouldn't have taken. But the pills were there and the other was so tempting with one of them between his teeth and his tongue just barely seen. Okay, so he'd kissed him. What was the issue with that? He didn't need to see a shrink just because of that. (a voice from somewhere... from his head, maybe) Oh, it wasn't because of the kiss, it was because of the pills. (but they were just sugar, weren't they?) No, it didn't feel like a sugar high, but who cared as long as he could get that same flying feeling that only came from Lavi's lips and only by his kiss, his hands, his tongue, his fingers...

Maybe he really shouldn't have taken that pill. He was starting to regret it. His head was leaving him and his eyes felt like melting away. This'd be the last time he'd listen those tantalizing lips and that poisonous tongue that could commit sin by just one lick.

But it was so good. And he kept yearning for more. (but was it the pills or the other's touch?) He'd have to talk to Lenalee. If the girl would talk to him anymore...

**4. Voltaire – Graveyard Picnic**

He'd always seen them. The souls, he meant. Not just Akuma but all of the dead ones. Was it important that he hadn't told anyone that he could talk to the dead? Would've they cared if he would've told them how cruelly Lavi talked about them?

Oh, yes, had he forgotten to mention? Lavi was dead. There was no-one to carry on the legacy of the Bookmen. But why there should be? They'll always have him, won't they? Him, who isn't on either side anymore. Him, who had sacrificed everything, even the one most loved by him to those ungrateful bastards.

**5. Sentenced – Killing Me, Killing You**

He'd always seen just death. Be it in wars or by assassination. It was always there. There could never be anything else. Death and murder were engraved in the souls and hearts, in the basic instincts, of human beings. That's what he'd always thought.

Then he'd met Allen.

Allen with his smiles and tears. Allen that was always so strong and didn't seem to care how many times he was struck down. But he should've known it couldn't go on forever. He knew Allen would fall in the end. The hero always did, it was the most basic rule of war. The hero that did the most honourable things always died in the end.

Now, he was alone. The old man had died. The war was over and the Order had been dispatched since there weren't any more Akuma in the world.

He was the only one who remembered anything from that time and the war. Everyone else was gone, his beloved Allen, too.

**6. Metallica – Bleeding Me**

The blood running down his arm was as red as Lavi's hair but warmer. It was mesmerizing how similar the two were. How he'd gotten into this situation was quite easy to explain. He'd gone to Lavi and told about his feelings and the rest was a cliché, from the start of Lavi's widening eye to the eventual door slamming on his face.

It was quite difficult not to understand Lavi's reasoning but he was a Bookman. They should have a wider range of view, right? Was it so wrong to feel this way towards him?

Would God really cast them to Hell? Would he be doomed to walk the Earth's surface forever?

He didn't know, and probably would never learn the truth. That is since he was quite certain he'd be killed in this Holy War. Well, if he'd be immortal then not, of course.

He startled when something wet and salty fell on the wound in his arm. Was he crying over something so silly? Why would he do that? It was just a silly crush, was it not? But on the other hand maybe it wasn't.

Another of those salty drops joined the first one. Then yet another and soon there was a constant stream of tears dropping on his arms.

Why was it so painful to love as he loved Lavi? Darkness seemed to gather and just as he fell unconscious he heard a loud knocking on his door.

There was a voice that sounded panicked. Only red hair came to mind.

**7. Atreyu – Blow**

He was great at what he did. He was number one. There was no doubt or question about it. He'd been told so dozens of times, after all. Most likely he'd hear it many times still before he died or just stopped.

They always said he was like a dirty slut. They always said he was like a virgin. They always said he looked like a fallen angel, or like a devil wanting its wings back.

He'd always shrugged and just smiled at them for complimenting him as was polite. Then came that red head and everything changed, with him he was always happy to hear the praise, happy to hear the moans.

He enjoyed doing it even more than ever before. Not even his first time.

And what he did? Gave blow jobs, of course.

**8. Metallica – Mama Said**

It was a lullaby for the other, yet it was a requiem. It was a praise for life but still as death. It was silent and stormy. It was red and green. It was silver and gold. It was white and black.

He didn't even know himself what it truly was. Some would've said love, others lust, some still that it was just a yearn to be acknowledged. He didn't need to know. Not as long as Lavi was there and not as long as there wasn't anything blocking his path. Lavi was a detour, a shortcut and then he was a resting place. His life was a long winding road and Lavi was the things that made it liveable, made it interesting and loveable, but mostly made it bearable.

Lavi was what all of them wanted to be. Lavi was his family, Lavi was his lover. Lavi was his life, Lavi would be his death.

**9. Eminem – The Kiss (skit)**

"What the fuck!"

"Allen, it's not..."¨

"Shut the fuck up! I see exactly what it is."

"But Allen..."

"You know, I would've accepted anyone. But Kanda?!"

**10. Skillet – Whispers in the Dark**

Roses, they were everywhere. Black roses, dark red roses, even a few dark blue ones. But that wasn't all. His Allen was there lying on the floor, violated, dead, bruised, bloody and so much more. He knew who'd do this. He knew the only one who was capable of something like this was that bloody Noah.

The fucking Noah of Pleasure.

That man would be dead when he finds him. That fucking arrogant smirk wiped from his face for all eternity. No-one had the right to touch what was his. No-one in the Order had even tried breaking them apart and now that arrogant son of a bitch had gone and killed the only light in his life.

xxx

**Allusions:**

_Why was it so painful to love as he loved Lavi?_ An allusion to _Bless the Child_ by Nightwish (_Why is it the deadliest sin to love as I loved you?_)

**A/N:** Okay, number ten... Well, you see, Whispers in the Dark is a TykiAllen song in my head and I just couldn't help myself -grins-

By the way, I wrote this on my laptop which has a very limited song collection so some of the songs might have been seen already before :D


	6. Bittersweet love affair

**Summary:** Refer to chap 1.

**Pairing:** Since Kanda FINALLY allowed me to write him (I'm a _very_ persuasive person when I want to) it's Yullen for all of those that like it... :D

**Warnings:** If you ask from me, it's utter and random crack... All of them... But on a more general scale I suppose I should mention: human trade, yaoi, drug use, swearing, implied sexual situations, AUness, character deaths and, umm, just randomness... This is gotta be one of the longest lists I have of warnings :O :D

**Rating:** M (hmm, was it hard to guess? :D)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D Gray-man or "The Worst Day Since Yesterday" by Flogging Molly

**A/N:** ... -listens to silence- I actually don't have anything to say... I suppose this series is complete now since I don't have any more pairings to do but I won't mark it such since I'm not sure... And yes, if you ask from me this whole Yullen collection is the biggest collection of crack I've written ever...

I hope you will enjoy this little piece of random crack I'm presenting to you :)

xxx

**Bittersweet love affair**

xxx

**1. Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars**

It was snowing outside. Or was it? He didn't quite know. There was something that really shouldn't have been there. A whiteness that was so snow-like yet too warm to be that cold substance.

He tried to stretch out his muscles but something obstructed his movement. A something that tightened its hold and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "let me sleep, dumbass". He dared a peek at what this mysterious something was and was quite surprised to see a pale body that had mismatched arms and a scar running vertically on the left side of its face and a black mask covering the right side of its face.

So, the idiot had returned then. He hadn't even woken up, pathetic.

The body started moving and soon he saw a grey eye looking at him.

He smiled "Welcome home, Moyashi."

**2. Counting Crows – Mr. Jones**

That dark hair was very intriguing in the least and the female, hmm, maybe a male in actuality, had the most mysterious look on his (?) face he'd ever seen. The boy, yes definitely a boy, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and that started a fire inside him that couldn't be put out easily.

He'd have to pay a lot for this one, he knew. A hell of a lot, but it should be worth it in the end. And maybe he could get a little discount with his relations.

He gave a smirk and pushed his black hair out of his face momentarily revealing the row of dark crosses on his forehead.

"Tyki, I want him. Make it happen." The other man gave a slight bow and walked up to the owner of the auction.

**3. The Godfather Theme **(don't know who plays it or what it's called but I think you all know what I'm talking about)

"The Godfather is _very_ disappointed in you."

"Lavi, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Aww, c'mon. Play along, pleeeeeaaaaaaaaase."

A roll of eyes. "Fine... So, why's he so disappointed?"

"You didn't tell me you were topping Yuu!"

Widened eyes and a surprised look. "But everyone knows that. Even Lenalee!"

"WHAT! Does Komui know that she knows?"

"Of course not! What you think I am? Suicidal?"

"Aah, yes, very much. Especially with two Innocences, a Noah and a curse of an Akuma inside of you. I think that'd drive anyone to insanity."

"Well, you might be correct with that one then..." A thoughtful expression.

"So... How is it?"

**4. Pezz – When I Was A Little Girl**

The music was like a drug. You couldn't get enough and the singer's voice was absolutely god-like. It's too bad that wonderful voice existed only on records anymore.

Yeah, his lover, his lovely idiotic Moyashi had died. He had been out partying with Tyki and Lavi and there had been heroine and of course the Moyashi never knew his limits and had gone and OD'ed.

**5. Emilie Autumn – 306**

The Noah was dangerous, he knew this. The Noah was the one of Seduction, he knew this too. But still he had fallen and fallen hard. He was being toyed with, that much was obvious. Why the Noah had remained interested even this long, he didn't know.

But this man thrusting into him, this man killing him slowly with his touches and licks and love wasn't his Allen. This man was someone he didn't know, yet he could see that same sparkle in his eyes, the same light in his smiles. Well, at least when his lips weren't covered with the blood of yet some unfortunate soul.

Why was he still alive? Why wasn't he a puppet to obey his Master's every wish?

He didn't know. Why he wasn't dead yet?

He didn't know. Why Allen had killed Lavi and not him?

He didn't know. Was he still loved? Even under all of that lust, be it for blood or for the joys of the flesh, was he really still loved?

Was that why the Noah (no, not Allen, never Allen, this man wasn't Allen) kept coming back? Was it because he had been loved once?

**6. Elliott Smith - Fond Farewell**

It was a funeral. It had been going on for a good while already. He saw but didn't care. He touched and hoped that love could burn again. He felt and he cried.

He cried like he'd never cried before it. He pretended he didn't see, pretended he didn't touch, pretended he didn't know. But all that time, from the beginning to the bitter end, he kept wondering? Why Lavi? Why his best friend? Why not Lenalee, or Komui? Why the only one he could ever really talk to?

Why had Yuu done that? Did he think he wouldn't be found out? A cold, bitter laugh.

xxx

Darkness. Darkness with only two gleaming eyes to pierce it. Eyes that held madness and sorrow, desire to kill and insanity beyond reach.

And blood flowing down the man's face.

And red life flowing from the Japanese man on the floor, pierced with his own sword.

**7. Emilie Autumn – Shallot**

He'd always loved the sea. He didn't know why. He had seen the thing for the first time when he almost drowned in it but did that matter? He loved the feeling of just being and drifting on someone else's orders.

So, was it any wonder that he fell in love at the sea? While being attacked yes, almost dying yes, but did that matter? It was the freedom; it was the complete and utter trust in someone else. It was the matter of not for once being in control of everything.

He loved that feeling and that's why he always loved it oh-so-much when his lover was rough and didn't listen to him...much.

In the end, did it really matter why he did what he did?

Well, then, why? _Freedom_.

**8. Eminem – Drug Ballad**

He loved the feeling of snorting cocaine from the other's firm stomach. He loved it almost as much as the feeling he got out of the drug.

The pale skin contrasting (how? he didn't know) the whiteness of the powder and giving him that last push over the edge. What was so different? Well, he wasn't getting high for once. And well, he supposed when he swam closer to the darkness, there'd be no high-on-drugs-and-hypersensitive-sex this time. Not when the darkness was getting closer by the second and he could feel some weird coldness wrapping around him and, his lover? Well, he wasn't sure.

Didn't know was the music coming from his head or from the one residing there. Didn't know if the blood was his or Kanda's. Didn't know if he could ever let go. Didn't know anything... Not anymore... And then...

Only darkness.

_So warm._

**9. Travis – Why does it always rain on me?**

Still and not very light, that's what the mood was. It was almost like someone was repeating in his head _it's the worst day since yesterday_ and why? Well, he didn't know.

Maybe it was the rain, maybe something else. He didn't know, didn't really want to know. Couldn't process the knowledge even if he'd gotten it. It was too absurd of a concept and he almost laughed aloud. It couldn't have happened, it really couldn't have.

But, still, here he was, sitting beside a hospital bed that was occupied. But not for long... He would soon find solace and peace in the darkness six feet under. Did it really matter that _he_ wasn't the dead one? If they'd just bury him too they'd get rid of that problem also.

Did it really matter that they thought he could move on? Did it really matter that they thought he was going to get over it and continue living without Yuu?

**10. Linkin Park – Don't Stay**

Breaking glass and shouted words. That's what Lavi heard when he found Yuu and Allen after a long while of searching.

And the shouting got worse...

"Just go all ready! I don't need you bastard!"

"Who the hell said _I_ needed you brat?!"

"Well, who the fuck came crawling to my doorstep begging for forgiveness after fucking about half of the Order?"

Harsh claim. But very true, too.

"Half the Order! Who the fuck told you that shit?!"

"I didn't need to be told! I can see their fucking dim-witted looks directed at you!"

xxx

**A/N:** -falls off a tree- I guess, this is the end of this little journey.. Sad, in some freakish way :D But I'm still open to suggestions if you have any pairing bothering your mind, I will at least try it :)

For now, thanks for sticking with me and hope you enjoyed the read as much as I enjoyed writing them :D


	7. Notes of a Clown

**Summary:** Refer to chap 1, please :)

**Pairing:** 14thAllen (or my version, KaineAllen) (no I have no idea how it would work, something like with Shirosaki and Ichigo maybe? o.O Or like with Kyuubi and Naruto? Or nothing like them? I'm just as baffled as you are :D) (one more thing, this pairing has been kicking the insides of my head like a petulant child for the better part of the ten month break I've had...PITY ME FOR SATAN'S SAKE!!!)

**Rating:** I'm not sure...mostly T but there are some things in there that make me err on the side of caution and say M

**Warning(s):** Well, the obvious, **yaoi** or if you prefer Western terminology **slash**, then there's the almost mandatory drug use and insanity. Surprisingly not even anything limeish here... o.O Ah, and blood. Lots of mentions of lots of blood ^^ And before I forget, **I abide (and live) by the manga timeline and events. **And also, most of these (coughallcough) are AU in one way or another ^^

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any anime, manga or book rights no matter what the jealous gossip hags tell you.

**A/N:** -peers around at the lack of an audience- Well, I suppose that's to be expected...

Yes, I'm back. Yes, I'm still as twisted and mad as ever and yes, I'm officially taking down the "complete" status -.-' Seeing as there are at least two more pairings I'll do for this series, probably more with the lovely addition to the Noah and history given to us between the last update and this one, it's the only thing that'll make sense. I might actually end up doing a new Yullen one with what's most likely going to happen in the next chap of the manga.

Pairing suggestions are still being taken and most likely written before the end of Time and the Apocalypse (not the 2012 one or at least I won't make any promises) :D

Without anything further to say, I think, I'll let you start the enjoying.

-grabs her popcorn-

xxx

**Notes of a Clown**

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**1. Mindless Self Indulgence – Shut Me Up**

The Noah just kept on going, kept on talking and hinting and luring me further into madness. It wanted me to lose myself so it could take over. _Or that's what I thought..._ Lose myself in meadows of madness and sharp jagged little pieces of glass.

It made me think I had never been alive before. It made me want to scream my throat raw and kill it and stab it to Hell and back and I wanted to kiss it just for being there.

And I know it knows this. It's in my head after all. There's nothing it doesn't see or know or hear.

And I want it to fuck me.

**2. Billy Talent – Turn Your Back**

"Turn your back on those treacherous humans."

I know it's right but I can't stop the tears, can't stop the aching of betrayal, though, really, I should've known better. I should've known they'd throw me out or imprison me or cut me open or...I don't know, the first chance they got after hearing what I was. What I had always been.

They had thought me a vessel, something that could be drained but it wasn't right and I'm starting to think I have a split personality _insane giggle_ for there isn't any normal, mentally healthy human who thinks they can have a relationship with the voice in their head. Is there?

I turned from them. Turned away from the Order and the Noah.

**3. Oasis – Live Forever**

It hinted at it. It told of all the things it'd done when it was a Noah, when it was still alive. It shared those odd mixed memories of human and ancient child of Noah. It told me I could have it all, have immortality, if (and it's the biggest if you'll ever find) I succumbed and gave my mind away to this insanity, this plague or parasite.

_Maybe, I really don't wanna know..._

It was something that couldn't be stopped, the voice just continued, made endless circles and I could never stop it. We could never stop it and that's the big problem, _we_ couldn't stop it. _We_ would always be separated by that fine line between sanity and losing your mind in the endless sea of memories.

And he cried for his love.

**4. Pink – Just Like A Pill**

They were _here_ again. In an old, decrepit house that had seen better days, wasting their time, together but mostly too high or low to know each other or the love they used to share. Love turned lust turned a need to have someone there when you were shaking with the fears of withdrawal. It had all started with one shared joint.

And it grew. And grew. Until Allen was sure there was nothing left of Kaine inside that shell that looked so much like his most beloved. The only one more loved than his Father and Master.

But he thought the coldness was good and the darkness welcoming.

**5. Fool's Garden – Lemon Tree**

There was a garden in the Ark and there was an apple tree there. The peculiar thing about the tree was that no-one but the 14th and I could see it. No-one saw the poison green apples of envy nor the black ones of death. No-one but us. My split personality and I. It was always so nice to know there was at least _something_ in the world that was solely_ mine_. Something that no-one could touch or take away from me. Someone who I'd die to protect, someone who I wouldn't see dying in my arms. Someone whose blood wouldn't be on the walls.

Someone to love.

**6. Bullet For My Valentine – Waking the Demon**

Blood. It was everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, on the ceiling but most of all on him. And he was laughing, laughing and laughing until another voice joined him with its quiet chuckles.

"Wouldn't that be quite enough already, love?" The other had a smirk on his lips.

The smaller, white-haired male turned to the other man, this one with reddish brown hair, and beamed happily at him. Well, as happily as you can with blood all over your body.

"Of course it would but it's never enough when you've finally killed the thing that goes bump in the night." Another grin shot in the other's direction.

A fond smile was the only response.

"Shall we go then, Earl Kaine?" a devilish smirk.

"I believe we shall, Lord Allen." a sensual drawl.

And that's how they left the body of the Millennium Earl lying on the floor.

**7. A Perfect Circle – Judith**

It was yet another battle but this one wasn't something he knew the ending of. This was something he'd never seen before. This was something new. This was The End. This was what all things on this Earth held their breath for.

It was amusing really.

Everyone thought there was something grand going on. That this was the moment when the world's Destiny would be decided.

He knew better. He'd seen those moments that led here. He'd seen them with a clarity none of the other's had. He'd seen those that were left to rule after the Noah tore the Exorcist apart and the Exorcists blessed everything with Innocence killing what they saw fit.

He knew and Kaine knew. _They_ knew because _they_'d seen.

It really was more amusing than was thought possible. These little insects thought they mattered when in the end there'd only be the White Clown and the Black Clown.

**8. Apocalyptica feat. Cristina Scabbia – S.O.S. (Anything But Love)**

Kaine had died.

...

There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he could think about except...

_blood, so many little rivers and more of the lakes_

and it wasn't something he wanted to dwell on, wasn't something his mind enjoyed but he needed it all the same

_he was so, so white in the middle of it all_

but he couldn't do anything and his mind was slipping away and breaking

_still had his maniacal grin on his face_

and he thought he'd kill all those even remotely responsible

_the sword was dripping crimson, a Japanese hand holding it_

but he wouldn't let them die easy, wouldn't let them ever forget...his name would be carved in blood and bone to history

...

_his Beloved lay dead_

**9. The Script – We Cry**

Crimson tears were flowing from his eyes. He could hear the screams in his head. He knew they both suffered when the souls suffered. He thought it was something of a gift but more like a curse. He being the only one most likely in the whole world being able to see the tortured souls that wandered still stuck on Earth.

It had been something so very innocent and sweet. Those times when he had thought it all so black and white without shades of grey _a small and dark chuckle_ but those times were gone. Now all he saw was in shades of grey and red, sometimes tinted with poisonous ivy or prideful purple. Surprisingly never greedy gold.

**10. Bullet For My Valentine – Intro**

_In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti_

They were exorcising him. They actually thought he _could_ be exorcised. He let out a giggle. This was so amusing.

_In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti_

He thought they'd know better. He was no mere vessel. No Noah was a vessel, everyone of his brethren were dual personalities. One white and one black. One that loves humans and another that wants to kill them.

xxx

**A One Time Offer: BONUS!**

**Emilie Autumn – At What Point Does a Shakespeare Say**

He was a playwright, for Heaven's sake, not someone to run errands for the star of the show. Even if they were his lover...

xxx

**A/N:** Yeah... The Bonus One... It was originally number seven but as the _poem_ is 34 seconds long and it took two listens to get even this much I abandoned it as waist of your time, if put up as a proper one. And that's my official take on things. What's going on there... Well, why are you asking me? Use those imaginations you (hopefully) have ^^

On another note, I'll make (most likely) a completely fic (weird stream of consciousness one-shot) out of number ten. Maybe dabble with six and eight, too. But we'll see.

So, umm, yeah, let the rotten fruits, vegetables and random animal (human) parts of anatomy fly.


End file.
